3 Jabs and Knocked Out..

When life hits you, the chick fucking hits you.

What people don’t understand is that when people use the phrase “life hit me hard” its not meant in the sense that it feels as if a huge semi hit us in the back or that it feels like a hammer is pounding on your head because of the stress. No. It’s no where near that merciful.

When life hit me hard I could literally feel my emotions rise up from my toes to my head. I could feel anger, despair, and sadness slowly devouring my whole being. My body sensed an unbalance, so my body thought it would be best to turn me numb. Now imagine you’re a numb human being, your mind shuts off, literally shuts off. Going blank, your constant flow of thoughts ceases, so now you’re forced to face reality, making the only thing you feel is the pounding thump of your brain trying to turn itself back on. Your chest doesn’t even hurt like it typically does when you’re heartbroken or disappointed, you feel the utter stillness which is wickedly maddening.

I like to also compare it like this:

Imagine your eyes open to complete darkness, you wonder how in the world you got from being in your warm bed to the cold blanket that surrounds the dark. Blaring lights turn on making you lose your sight for a couple of seconds, “How did I get here?” is all you can think about. Your in a ring and in front of you is Life in the flesh ready to box you. Ring side is your mother, your significant other, and maybe even your child all rooting for you. So instantly you think that you have to win, for their sake. You can’t disappoint them so you have to make the perfect moves, hit the perfect spot, and end it. If you lose you’re not only losing your dignity, but your job, you might not be able to finish school, and bills are piling on. You just can’t afford to disappoint them or yourself. You start feeling nauseous of the thought making you feel weak. Life sees that and uses it as her advantage as she starts jabbing at your face. A couple hits and she has you seeing star, the numb feeling is crawling up your spine, and you’re about to tap out. You want to just stop going to school. You want to just stop going to work. You want to just give up on everything. You’re hurt, tired, and your mind has betrayed you. All you want to say is, “I don’t deserve this. I work so hard.”

So now what?

Well, it happens. Which is why you see many people take a break from school. You see, they take breaks from work because they’ve reached this part of their life. We’re all going to reach it because we’re growing up and even if you’re in your 50’s your still growing and Life takes no mercy on age. Taking a break isn’t bad, it’s actually good so you don’t get entangled in the madness. Just breath, repair your universe, and get back up and continue on growing your world.

xoxo

 

(Picture not mine)

 

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